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SPOILER ALERT: this really is satire for almost any one who doesn’t grasp the notion of a female making a tale.

Have actually you ever texted a selfish, inconsiderate, lazy, no heart, no conscience, no bedframe getting he never responded fuckboy you were dating but also not dating and? Or he reacted fourteen days post-text, that is useless ‘cause your text ended up being urgent? Or he just partially reacted and avoided the section of your message for which you stated you have got developed emotions for him against your might because you give consideration to him to become a skinny-jeaned, buttoned-down bearded monster?

Well, i have been here too, GIRL. I’m here as we type this. If you should be reading these terms, present fuckboy, pick your phone up, open up your keyboard, and continue steadily to head into the ocean. KIDDING. We AM NOT KIDDING. BUT IN ADDITION AM… never THOUGH. However in all severity, please run into an ocean.

We hate the types of fuckboy significantly more than my constant upset ranting about them to any or all i understand can say. Nonetheless, i actually do take pleasure in toying due to their minds while they have actually toyed with mine. When they usually do not reply to my sweet small “Hey good-lookin’. What’s your looking like? weekend” we have actually twenty brilliant, crafty, exquisitely petty and frequently hilarious tricks to text-bait the child of fuck. Any moment your message goes unreplied, utilize one of these simple infants and I also vow a fast retort:

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